逃匿中

Sometimes you just need to run away for a few hours.
Not a mommy. Not a wife.
Just me.
The plain old me.

图书馆

图书馆，是其中一样我来美国后特别珍惜跟感恩的东西。
这一家，离我们的家大概15分钟。
好喜欢这一家图书馆。
喜欢一大片一大片的落地窗。喜欢窗外的花草，一棵又一棵的大树。
喜欢沿着窗外地上那一颗又一颗圆滑的鹅卵石。
坐在窗边可以看见松鼠，还有觅食的鸟儿。
风轻轻地吹着时，花草柔柔地弯着腰随风美妙地摆动，大树轻轻拂动树桠，树叶一阵阵在阳光里沙沙晃动着。
如果不是要看顾孩子，对她们的谈话与问题应接不暇，我想我可以在这里坐着看上一整天。
今晚上图书馆时，忽地下起了一阵春天的阵雨。
看着雨沙沙从天而降，雨水打在圆滑的鹅卵石上，滴-答-滴-答， 阳光满满地投射进来，真是不可思议的美好与让人心旷神怡。
我忽然就想，多么想，多么想，我家乡的小孩有这样一家图书馆。
这样的梦想，在这样的一个午后， 似乎一点都不难实现。
我看着雨后美丽的彩虹，心里有了那么一点方向与笃定。

夕阳下，雨里的图书馆外景

雨后彩虹

悠闲时光

悦悦这样静静地躺在小几下大概30分钟。
我很珍惜她们安静下来的时光。
有时候两姐妹静静地独自看自己的书。
有时候就什么也不做，安详地躺着。
我记得自己小时候这样静下来什么也不做的时刻。
有时候是静静地坐在门前看下午的雷阵雨打在所有的花上，树上。
有时候是听隔壁的邻居大叔在屋后的阴蔽下磨他们的胶刀。
刀刃在湿了水的磨石上来来回回地拉着。形成一部生活里让人安心的简单调子。
有时候我看屋后的野猫。慵懒地眯着眼在屋顶上打着盹。
我看阳光投射过一切的影子。
我听酷热下午在天花板上有节奏转了一圈又一圈风扇发出的叽叽声。
这些听起来毫无意义的事，却是我非常实在，没有任何装饰的生活。
我认定，这也是为什么后来我可以过很简朴的生活的因素之一。
后来住宿舍没有冰箱，没有电话，没有电单车，都不是大问题。可以走路去得到的地方，就用双脚走吧。有时候走上40分钟以上。没有收音机没有音乐没有电视机又怎样。我宁愿坐在屋前看前方那块丛林里的树随风摇曳，或等那棉絮花开后，随风飘下来一片又一片的棉絮花。
近年来更发觉，我甚至连电影院也不喜欢上了。
好看的，值得看又不污染我的思绪的电影那么少，上一次又花钱，花时间，我宁愿在家看一本书。我宁愿到山里去踏青。
排除了所有的“电子娱乐”，我才觉得悠闲。
我很希望，我的孩子也能在这样安安静静，充满生活气息与声音，没有让她们分心的电子娱乐的环境下长大。我希望她们能很纯朴地长大，她们不会去追求所谓的高尚生活，即使生活多粗糙，她们也有一颗懂得去发掘它其中的美好的一颗细腻的心。

自己剪头发的小女孩

3月24日。
妈妈上教会去了，刚出差回来的爸爸因为时差还在睡觉，安安决定替自己剪头发。很毅然地剪掉左右耳际旁两撮头发。

妈妈回来后一进门妹妹立刻向妈妈打小报告。结果两姐妹从此失去自由用剪刀的权利。其实妈妈觉得自己剪头发不是大件事，头发还会再长，而且也看不出她剪了哪里。妈妈也记得自己小时候很好奇，自己用剪刀剪头发会怎样。大件事是，她答应了妈妈只用剪刀剪纸张，却违背了承诺，破坏了妈妈对她的信任。希望她会学会一诺千金这件事。

3岁半小女孩的画

悦悦最近开始会画侧面的画。以前看书看到有侧面图她都很奇怪还有一颗眼睛跑哪里去了，现在她会说，我只画了一只眼睛因为还有一只在另外一边，你看不到。

这是一只啄木鸟的侧面。看得见那长长尖尖的嘴巴吗？

她说这是一个天使。天使的两个翅膀在身后。

We Remember Them

"At the rising of the sun and at its going down
We remember them.

At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter
We remember them.

At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring
We remember them.

At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer
We remember them.

At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn
We remember them.

At the beginning of the year and when it ends
We remember them.

As long as we live, they too will live;
for they are now a part of us
as we remember them.

When we are weary and in need of strength
We remember them.

When we are lost and sick at heart
We remember them.

When we have joy we crave to share
We remember them.

When we have decisions that are difficult to make
We remember them.

When we have achievements that are based on theirs
We remember them.

As long as we live, they too will live;
for they are now a part of us
as we remember them."
From Jewish Book of Prayer.

Latter Days

聽一首非常動聽，寫得非常美麗的歌。
有時候悲傷可以美麗得那麼動人，卻又割得人遍體鱗傷。
如果你不相信，你可以去讀 The Tiger Rising 這一本書。
Kate DiCamillo 是一位非常非常棒的作家。我總是一邊看，一邊想，她到底看過怎樣的悲傷？ 她寫的悲傷總是非常幽靜，卻又無處不在。
Is there a such thing as screaming silence?
I believe so.

 Over the Rhine: Latter Days

What a beautiful piece of heartache
This has all turned out to be
Lord knows we've learned the hard way
All about healthy apathy

I use these words pretty loosely
There's so much more to life than words

There is a me you would not recognize, dear
Call it the shadow of myself
And if the music starts before I get there
Dance without me, you dance so gracefully
I really think I'll be okay
They've taken a toll, these latter days

Nothing like sleeping on a bed of nails
Nothing much here but our broken dream
Oh, but baby, if all else fails
Nothing is ever quite what it seems

And I'm dying inside to leave you
With more than just cliches

There is a me you would not recognize, dear
Call it the shadow of myself
And if the music starts before I get there
Dance without me, you dance so gracefully
I really think I'll be okay
They've taken their toll, these latter days
They've taken their toll, these latter days

Tell them it's real
Tell them it's really real
I just don't have much left to say
They've taken their toll, these latter days
They've taken their toll, these latter days